Perception vs. Reality

"A traveler at an airport went to a lounge and bought a small package of cookies to eat while reading a newspaper. Gradually, she became aware of a rustling noise. Looking from behind her paper, she was flabbergasted to see a neatly dressed man helping himself to her cookies. Not wanting to make a scene, she leaned over and took a cookie herself.

"A minute or two passed, and then she heard more rustling. He was helping himself to another cookie! By this time, they had come to the end of the package. She was angry but didn't dare allow herself to say anything. Then, as if to add insult to injury, the man broke the remaining cookie in two, pushed half across to her, ate the other half, and left.

"Still fuming later when her flight was announced, the woman opened her handbag to get her ticket. To her shock and embarrassment, there was her pack of unopened cookies!"

From the book "Coffee Break with God"

Many of us have had a situation like this occur at some time in our lives. Sometimes what appears to be true is not. Our perception is not always aligned with reality. For the lady with the cookies, her reality was defined by her assumptions. She assumed that her cookies were being eaten and stolen by a stranger! But the reality was that this stranger was more than willing to share his cookies with her and was offering an act of kindness.

So many times we accept our first assumptions or perceptions without even questioning them. We must be careful in our lives to not jump to assumptions about situations and instead check the facts of the situation. If the lady had just checked her bag she would have found that her cookies were there and not being eaten. She would not have felt all the horrible feelings she felt inside.

In the Matrix films we see that what people percieve to be the true reality is an illusion or dream world. What they just assume is normal is fake. Neo discovers reality by not assuming all is well but listening to something inside him that tells him that there is something wrong (the splinter in his mind). He also listens to the signs given to him by Morpheus and Trinity. He could have easily chosen to ignore these signs as just mere coincidences. By investigating and not just accepting things as they are he discovers reality.

We, too, must not just accept what the world tells us to believe. Just because our parents believe a certain religion does not make it so. We should investigate it to see if it stands the test of truth. Also, just because or peers, the media, and society tell us that something is so does not mean that we should accept it blindly. When we believe something that is not true (aligned to reality) this belief becomes a distorted thought by which we view ourselves and life. When we view life through a distorted lens we run into many problems.

In my line of work as a counselor I run across a lot of people who have distorted thoughts that define their life and reality for many years. One of my clients, who was arrested for violating a restraining order, physical abuse, and threatening his x-girlfriend's life, shared a memory that he had of his father beating his mother repeatedly with a tree cutter. He shared that he was seven years old at the time and that his father told him that his mother cheated on him. He stated that he was traumatized by this and could not sleep for weeks and added that no body else in the family new of this event.

The client then shared another event. He told us about how his sister was beaten up in front of his eyes by her husband because she was unfaithful to him. He said that he did not defend her and thought to himself, "She deserves it."

The client then went on to share about his incident. He said that his girlfriend was with another man in his house and that he went to harrass her and abuse her. The client was able through this inventory to see the connection with the first memory. When he was a child he had accepted (assumed) that is was okay to beat someone if they were unfaithful. This explains why he did not defend his sister and also resorted to violence with his partner. The client had a distorted belief that it was okay to use violence in this situation. By looking back he was able to find where this belief was given birth and understand himself better. As soon as the client changed this belief and the belief that he could not live without the victim he found freedom. He was able to let go of his relationship and move on with his life. This story illustrates the power of distorted thoughts to define our reality.

If we are honest we all have distorted thoughts that define our reality. Some of them are there because of our experiences like the story of this client of mine and others because of things we have been taught by society or peers. Regardless, the question is are we willing to examine them and change them? Will we look at the signs before us and find reality? Are you ready to take the red pill and discover the whole truth?